先讲一段昨天八卦的内容。

Brian确实跟Helena在06年11月分的手，这个是从和Brian有过affair的巴西小妞Carol Wojtyla那里证实到的。然后这个姑娘也确实跟B有过一小段affair，所以，当年我们看到的那些八卦照片，的确是事实……我想你们中间有一部分人大概还是有印象的。 

然后Stan告诉我说，B跟H分手的原因是因为“捉奸在床”……当时我就裂了。虽然一直有传言说H在生完Cody以后，在placebo巡演期间frequently seeing another guy，但我其实始终不相信这是真的，我从来都是力挺Helena的……当然那个捉奸在床的说法也不完全可信，毕竟也只是口口相传……然而，作为CW提供的时间截点06年11月来看，刚好跟B心情最烂、Meds Tour无休无止相吻合……但另一点我也觉得很奇怪，就是B真的会把这些事情讲出来么，以他的性格我觉得很难…… 

至于Reading, Helena又出现，我估计这个属于意外，就是带孩子去看他爹演出。 

啊也许我跟Midori之前YY的都是真的…… 

当然那个break up原因的谣传还是让我非常心神不宁，如果是真的，那小妈该他妈多有挫败感啊……他这么一个完美主义者，居然抓到自己的姑娘跟别人一块儿……肯定一言不发地摔门而去，然后一路上忍着没哭，径直去找Stef，总爆发……

话说，想到那个妞……金发，文身……Brian，do you secretly want Gumpie?!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

第二条八卦其实是第一条八卦的引子……是我在Reading的CEBO LIVE里看到了这两只。

在16分钟左右，舞台右边楼梯上站的两个小孩里，右边的是Cody，Helena站他后面，头发还是08年那个样子，没换过。 

CODY特傻地攥着个栏杆儿，歪着脑袋打量他爹。H跟着好象在拍照 

如果我没眼花的话，之后还有一个焦外的场景是H抱着Cody的…… 

真是好久不见H了……呢。

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

另，Kings of Convenience的新专终于

http://www.douban.com/subject/3876613/

太，嗲，了！！！

KOC果然是从来不会让人失望的！！！

Having been through all these dreadful years, tortured by the dead emotions, prisoned in the desperate situations, you are still on the road, singing for your supper, running for your life. 

I think that's why I can't take my eyes off you. 

You are the truth not I. 

I hope one day I would be as bold as you are. 

Sometimes I'm considering that what life meant to you when you were at my age. I kept reminding myself of the facts that you met him at 21, when he lately turned 20, the exact period in which I am stuck. Your story is filled with passion, love,dream, hope and future. It's all about future and your dream. And then you realized each and every wildest dream that you had conceived at the start of your career. And then you fell, you came undone, you demonstrated a stereotype of a death-style, a manual of rock-moves. And all of a sudden everything falls back to what it used to be, when you were less complicated, when you were innocent and naive.

Life becomes simple. Less is more. You know you cant have every fig from the fig tree. 

And the road is there, all you need is to embark on the trip, though you may get roadfucked or even roadkilled.

**Badly Drawn Boy – The Shining***

Serene sunshine poured through the narrow kitchen window, casted long slender shades of the two onto the floor. It was very quite within the kitchen except for a constant sound of Stef chopping the vegetables. Now he’s working on some cucumbers. Alongside the chopping board lined several bottles of sauce, vegetables and a pack of whole-wheat toasts. Brian, leaning against the refrigerator, stood still in watching Stef preparing for a late lunch, or an early supper. The scene has a flavor of an impressionist portrait.

“Let me have a try at the tomato.”

“You sure you’re okay with that?” Stef stared at Brian, definitely lacked confidence in him.

“Com’on, I’m a capable adult. I did this thousands times on my own.” Brian answered matter-of-factly, grabbed over the kitchen knife from Stef and nudged him away.

“Ouch!”

Brian screamed as soon as he dropped the knife, as if it was burning or it was an disgusting insect.

He cut his finger as Stef had foreseen.

Blood oozed from the cut in his index finger, though it’s not a deep one. Stef came over and took Brian’s hand, put the finger into his mouth, gently sucking at it to prevent a further bleeding. Standing there like a kid did something wrong, Brian waited for Stef’s blame while anxiously gaze at Stef’s face.

The concern in Stef’s eyes gradually turned into something both teasing and scheming. He went back into the living room in search of a band-aid, it’s pretty clear that Stef was much more familiar with the exact location of the medicine cabinet than Brian, the real owner of the flat.

“It’s Alex who bought me the band-aid last time I was running out of it.” Brian explained, tried to emphasize that it was not his fault to forget where to find it, “I don’t know where she put it.”

“Well, at least you got me.” Stef returned with a opened package of band-aid, tossed the pack into a nearby litter bin, grinned at Brian teasingly when he carefully wrapped up Brian’s wounded finger, “Lucky you.” He winked at him.

“Yeah, lucky me.” Brian repeated in a defeated but reluctant tone.

Stef went on making the food, spreading grilled butter and mayonnaise over the toast. Brian was making Darjeeling to match the sandwiches.

“Give me a hand.” The tiny singer tried to reach kitchen cabinet himself, however, it was apparently too high for him. 

“There you go.” Stef fetched Brian the canister without an effort.

Viewing the obvious jealous look on Brian’s face, he couldn’t help teasing a bit.

“Told you so, don’t put things in a place you can’t reach out, or you’d better buy yourself a stepladder.”

“Aha, it’s you who brought over this and put it there. Don’t you remember that? Yeah, it’s REALLY inconvenient for DISABLED me. ” Brian answered back sarcastically, absent-mindedly pulling the tea-bags floating up and down in a graceful manner.

“Did I?” Noiselessly Stef made his way to the back of Brian. Placing his jaw on Brian’s shoulder, Stef surreptitiously slid his long, slender fingers into the loose bathrobe, fumbled on the warm skin while gently biting on the delicate earlobe. Then he pulled over the plate piled with several pre-made sandwiches.

“Ummmmm, yummy.” He took a big bite and left the rest to Brian.

Stef took off Brian’s bathrobe from the back, exposed the elegantly curved shoulders. Brian turned over, wearing actually nothing under the bathrobe, which fell onto the floor silently when their lips met each other.

Brian worked his finger on Stef’s black shirt while the two of them were kissing passionately. Stef got himself rid of the shirt as soon as Brian had done his unbuttoning mission, grabbed Brian’s shoulders and pushed forward, apparently wanting for more. But it did not stop Brian from doing his work. He finally came to the final defense of the belt buckle, skillfully released Stef’s impressive erection, which had driven the Swedish to the verge of madness for a while.

Now the impressionist painting shifted to a porn movie scene of two beauties, all naked and filled with lust, bathing in the remnant of daylight piercing through the window, fiercely made love to each other.

Behind them on the kitchen table, two cups of Darjeeling were getting colder, the rest sandwiches remained untapped. But there’s no more concern that they would spare on the food, they stayed merely as honest as they’d been in the early days, with their wants and love, submissive to the warm flow of lust flooding in their veins, to the dense hormone that was diffusing into the air.

They just could hardly wait to fuck each other.

**Placebo - Hardly Wait***

Brian pulled back his tongue, gently kissed and licked down across Stef’s neck, chest bone, bare chest, played a while with the hard nipples and belly button, while gently striking Stef’s cock.

“I can do taste.” Brian said teasingly, looked up to meet the eyes of Stef, finally he was down there. This had been one of their favorite bed-jokes these days.

Brian kissed on the tip and shifted to tantalizingly licking, looking up to Stef’s face which was drawn badly by delight from time to time. Perceiving the slightly quick pulse from his mouth, he wrapped his lips around it without hesitation while Stef let a kitten-like moan slip out of his clenched teeth. All of a sudden something occurred to him. He moved a bit to grab over the bottle of mayonnaise, poured some sauce onto Stef’s cock and continued to taste it.

“Love it?” It was amazing that Brian could raise a question while his mouth was busy with consuming the mayonnaise flavor lollipop.

Stef remained silent to the question, pinned himself on the edge of the sink, all he could do is to run his fingers into Brian’s hair while the singer was down there driving him crazy,  tilted his head back and kept moaning even louder.

Stef lifted Brian up, carried him in his arms like how devoted Knight did to his beloved princess. Lying comfortably in Stef’s arms, Brian wrapped his arms around Stef’s neck. On the suede couch Stef fiercely threw Brian, and then himself.

Here came a new round of couch-fight, but it wouldn’t last very long because both of the two were now on the verge of losing control. However, under a corner of the carpet, Brian remained conscious enough to dig out a condom and a pack of lube, his favorite strawberry flavor.

“Hmmm, seems that you have a clear memory of where we usually put THOSE stuff…” Stef grinned evilly, took over the condom and lube, and flipped the smiling devil over.

He skillfully tear off the wrap, lubed the fingers while doing a massage around Brian’s entry. He put one finger into it, then a second one, finally himself, thrusting into Brian with enough tenderness. He cared to make his little patient comfortable, making it gently and slowly. Satisfied in hearing Brian’s nasal purr as he’s fully into him and reached the delicate end, Stef started to speed up little by little. With each thrust, Stef could notice that Brian’s little moans gradually turning into euphoric whines, his breath heavy and short as if he’s going to cry out loud. He could also feel himself hard like a piece of metal, burnt red.

Both of them were panting heavily, screaming as loudly as they could. They were now on Stef bend over to grab Brian’s throbbing cock, stroke it while Brian was literally crying out of ecstasy, and soon he felt the warm cum all over his hand as well as the wool cushions under them. Focusing on a fit of last thrusts, brutally but safely enough, he collapsed on the back of Brian, joined him in a trip to the top of the world, the land of pure euphoria.

写得我又纠结又愉快……啊我整整HIGH了好几天……

下面有很多*少儿不宜*的内容……酱紫

啊，一帖居然发不完么……

[Chapter Five]

A dream without a name. All the images randomly flushed onto the eyelids, all pieces of daily scenes reshuffled, bubbled up and exploded in a high frequency. His memory, which was in deep stage of sleeping, malfunctioned like broken puppets dragging by tangled wires, dancing in a meaningless rage as if epilepsy was onseting. He thought he might get a seizure if this continued. He felt like puking, but there was nothing inside his stomach except for bitter acid which would cause a slight burning feeling on his esophagus through a terrible vomit. Suffocated by his vomit, he could barely breathe properly.

As the flashing lights went out, the nausea tumbling up and down in his belly appeased. Breathe in and out, deep and sound, slow but constant. He felt a blow of warm evaporation into his face, all moist and gentle.

Then his lips were wrapped up by another pair of softness, blending with a sweet taste. He enjoyed the way that the flexible tip of the tongue skillfully crushed the fortress of his teeth, slipped in and twisted like a trapped animal, rampaging in desperation.

He opened his eyes with huge effort, and was enveloped by a giant of dazzling brightness. Getting himself adapted to the surroundings, Stef’s eyes fixed upon a familiar face hanging several inches above him, which was beaming like a white full moon. It was Brian kneeling down beside the couch.

Stef sat up quickly while Brian remained sitting on his ankles.

“What time is it now?” Stef asked, obviously lost a sense of time.

“Almost 4.” Looking up to Stef, Brian’s unique nasal voice seemed to recover its usual steadiness, calmness and a tantalizing connotation.

“Oh my god.” Stef exclaimed, couldn’t believe he’d been sleeping the whole afternoon. It was 4 hours ago he escorted Brian to bed.

“I’m hungry. What about you?” Brian sounded motionlessly peaceful.

“Oh yeah,” Realizing that his entire kinky dream was a warning signaled by the unsatisfied stomach, Stef was about to leave for kitchen, “I’ll see what we have the in kitchen.”

Out of Stef’s expectation, Brian grabbed his wrist, pulled him back to the couch with a strength disaccording with the tiny figure. Ignoring Stef’s confusion, Brian then sat on the top of Stef.

It was, apparently, under a perfect scheme.

Brian’s hands, paw-like, tapped on the tall man’s shoulders and then tightly clutched at them. A devil-like smile sprang from the corner of his mouth across his beautiful face, revealing the white sharp corner teeth, which reminded Stef of a stunning vampire, the irresistible predator.

Now it’s the time for the big cat to play with its tasty prey.

“I’m…HUNGRY, indeed.” He whispered while licking the corner teeth, agreeable in viewing his sacrifice almost paralyzing in his clutches. 

His dangling hair swept across Stef’s cheek when sudden bombs of kiss air-raided on the lips. Soon it became a crazy devour, blending with bite and suck, an intense battle between two tongues.

On the other hand, Stef, who played the role of a seemingly dump antelope, surrendered himself to Brian at the very beginning of this beloved game. Doused in a flesh-peeling happiness, Stef smelled Brian’s whisky flavored hair, felt a comfortable bulge between his legs, against the tiny singer’s groin. Now they could felt each other were inevitably hard.

All of a sudden there came a loud growling of a stomach, protesting for being ignored. They paused for a second, both burst into a fit of laughter. Brian lifted his body and freed Stef from the pressure of his body weight.

They would have continued making love until they both exhausted and starved to death, literally, if they were still in their puppy like twentieth. But it went to a different direction, now. They would rather get the stomach satisfied first, only after that would be the plethora of libido.

Hardly Wait终于泄露，在MSN上问了两个朋友，一个在itunes上买到，另一个则同另个朋友分享到。

在这个illegal download的天堂，我又怎么能把这样美妙的东西独自享用。事实上数字音乐和版权的维护永远都只会是天方夜谭，在这样一个网络当道的时代，总会有人把那些东西分享出来，再严厉的打击都只能是治标不治本。数字时代的实质，或者说趋向，本来就是营造一个数据、资料共享的平台。当然我也知道，这在某种程度上导致了艺人/乐队生存的艰难，但事实上，通过LEAKAGE决定购买实体CD的人也不在少数。

比如我。PLACEBO5/9号在O2 arena的illegal bootleg，是我提前预定boxset的根本动力……

http://www.douban.com/group/topic/8032041/

好吧，回到Hardly Wait上面。

关于这首歌有多么的horny，我想已经无须多言了……PJ Harvey的版本从某种程度上来说还是比较“保守”……但Brian Molko明显把它唱成了彻头彻尾的色情歌曲……一路moaning到底，argh, that is molko orgasm!!!甚至连唱歌词的时候都无法抑制冲口而出的呻吟……你要死了Bri-pie

那句Hey Romeo，make my waters break……小男人来唱这个实在是太变态太销魂了！！！！！我早就说过你需要的就是人造子宫……都已经按捺不住要给某人生孩子的心情了么。

这个完全满足了同人女们的YY吧……多淫荡多肉欲啊……完全一副欠操嘴脸。

话说这次BFTS的COVERS质量都高得不可思议，当初听wouldnt it be good和fuck u就已经high到不行，没想到molko还留了这么一手……居然把如此情色这般勾魂的hardly wait留到现在。

恩，我当初的论断也确实没错，果然是hardly wait to fuck you

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

另，昨天，我再次感受到了某种无法抵抗的东西，在某个人的眼睛里。

我希望我可以再次见到你。

Placebo的documentary终于还是泄出了。

就在昨天晚上，当我在KTV里唱歌的时候。

今天回寝室，借了室友的帐号上网，看到那条YOUTUBE地址的时候整个人都傻了。

然后开始疯狂地找代理。vtunnel不行，fanqiang一直说我error。

最后开了VPN，之前每次在学校用VPN几乎都以失败告终……finger cross之后，居然成功了。

于是，我疯了。

pt.1的1：38秒，我想我永远也不会忘记我看到我自己的那个瞬间，穿着鲜亮绿色UT的我，扒在栏杆上，声嘶力竭地跟唱，像个不倒翁一样前后摇摆。

pt.2的4分36秒，我和linv出现在画面的左边，我根本没意识到自己有被拍到……难看到想去自杀……但好在就那么短短几秒。

然后我整个都HYPER了。

LINV也是。

写REVIEW，考G时猜中和PLACEBO有关的主考词，6月8号当天到的BOX，机场扑人，签名，和GUMPIE的合影，站在正对STEF的FIRST ROW，STEF的拨片，照片出现在官网上，最后是出现在这个视频里。

我想，也许真的。

这一切都是命中注定。

周日。新闻系首次聚餐。

因为我不小心傻逼地把IPOD里面所有的东西都抹了（70G+），而我电脑的盘符又全部重新换过，而傻逼的ITUNES又只认路径……结果是只能把所有东西全部重新导一遍……TOT。疯了。

加上迟来的966，于是，迟到了……

不过这个到迟得实在完美……居然坐在了偶像（我们院一老师）旁边吃饭= =

ARGH，其实只是在喝酒而已……我完全不记得自己到底喝了多少，不过没有任何反应就是了。

大家都实在太NICE，全在叹息“啊为什么到现在才想起来聚餐呢？！！！！”

中间穿插表演无数，系主任带头敬酒，偶像也不甘示弱……更有班对两对现场激吻。

一个太过美好的夜晚。

留下喝酒的一群人加上偶像最后跑去HAOLEDI唱歌，更有另一名偶像潜力股（这个不是我偶像了就……）前来助兴……

我爱新院。我爱光华楼。我爱复旦。

我们依然年轻。 我们还在路上。

这一切永远都不会结束。

[Chapter Four]

Stef opened the door with his set of spare keys. It’d been years that the two shared keys to each other’s apartment. Brian slipped into the room swiftly through the narrow space between the slim tall man and the door frame, hastily shucked off his boots along the hallway, his tiny body darting across the living room to the giant suede couch. He stared at Stef who arranged the pansies in a glass vase and put the finished work on the coffee table in front of him. He remained quiet and still when the bassist brought him a glass of water and sat down beside him.

“Tired?”

“Yeah…not feeling well. My head’s aching like hell.”  A faint smile cracked on Brian's wan and exhausted face.

Stef gently laid his right hand upon Brian’s forehead and was astonished as soon as his fingers got in touch with Brian's burning skin.

“You’ve got a fever,” Stef said, then he stood up and looked around.

“Oh, really?” Brian slowly lifted a hand to his forehead to check it himself. ”Seems like I'm sick again. Damned virus.”

“You should have known better.” Stef returned to his little patient, holding out his palm with some pills on it. “Take them.”

Watching Brian take the pills, lest he got naughty and hid the bitter-tasted pills under a cushion, Stef is a bit concerned whether they should put the band's schedule on hold until Brian is fully recovered.

“It’s partly my fault. I should have turned it down when you insisted to be on the show. Alexie would have talked to the BBC guys to reschedule it to a better time.”

“It’s not your fault.” Brian reached out to touch Stef’s face and leaned forward to peck on his lips. “I know I’m no longer 22, you know, the kind of energy it takes to cope with that much. But I’m doing it for US.” He whispered, a mild flame glowing in his watery eyes. Never could Stef resist against getting drowned in them.

 “And I did it okay, didn't I?”

Everybody knew that Brian sung the songs in a much lower key because of his sore throat. Stef did not answer, just smiled.

“Well, you drink the water, then go to bed. Should I call Bill in to give you an injection?”

“I don't feel that bad. The pills should be good enough.”

The last word was followed by a fit of coughs. Stef stroked Brian's back to sooth him, feeling as if there’s a knife twisting in his heart.

“Maybe we should cancel the promotion thing tomorrow, even Readings and Leeds.” Stef fight the urge to say it out and swallowed the words in the end. Brian the workaholic would definitely go nuts if he hears anything remotely connected to “cancel” again.

Cuddled in Stef’s arms like a tamed kitten, Brian sipped the water and emptied the glass.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Brian had a quick shower while Stef made the bed for him. Knowing Brian, Stef held his temper when he saw the messy bedroom. Step by step, he picked up all the clothes Brian dropped carelessly on the floor, and threw the dirty ones into the laundry basket behind the bedroom door, emptied and wiped the ashtray that was filled  with a thick layer of cigarette butts. The bed, king-sized and white-sheeted, was cluttered with a half dozen of pillows and two quilts. He could imagine how Brian threw himself to bed - falling straight on his face without even bothering to move the pillows and quilts around so he can rest his body on the mattress properly – yeah, that’s typically Brian’s doing. No matter what places Brian is staying, it’s always Stefan Olsdal playing the role of a diligent Swedish maid to clear up all the messes left behind by the sweet princess.

“Oh woa.”

Stef turned around and met the eyes of Brian, who was leaning on the door frame. He was clad in a white bath robe loosely tied around his slender waist, his pale chest partly exposed. His hair, now wet and returned to its incredibly elegant curved form, was stuck to his ultra-white cheeks. Brian looked totally like a character stepping out of an exquisite 5-star porn DVD.

Stef could feel the growing tightness of his pants.

“Stef! Did you secretly enroll in those domestic courses at the community school?” Brian sounded teasingly serious. He smirked as he walked across the bedroom and wrapped himself around his Swedish luxury chocolate.

“Oh…woooooooooooooowww” Brian purred like a slutty kitten.

Now he could feel a remarkable bulge against his belly.

“You need to dry your hair.” Instead of a devouring kiss that Brian was expecting, Stef turned a blind eye to Brian's devilish smile, gently freed himself from the tiny singer, and walked away for the hair dryer.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Now, close your eyes and sleep.” Stef gave his order in a coaxing tone.

“Okay.” Brian said, though reluctantly. ”Stay with me?”

“I’ll make myself comfortable on the couch.” Stef answered matter-of-factly without sounding sexy or alluring - his usual way of responding to Brian in bed. He didn’t want to distract Brian, who needed to rest now.

“Be a good boy, mmmkay?”

Stef tucked Brian into bed, kissed him on the cheek and slipped out of the bedroom.

Lounging on the couch, Stef browsed through a novel he picked up on the floor while tidying up Brian’s bedroom. It was titled By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept and written by a Brazilian. He was not surprised at all that Brian was reading something religious and spiritual. Brian is, after all, semi-vegetarian and practising yoga. And the lyrics of Battle For The Sun is pretty self-explanatory.

After a while, drowsiness fell upon him. Within a few minutes, Stef joined Brian into the neverland of sleep.